Match Report: Stone Lions Defeat Minx

Final Score
Nashville 31 v Knoxville 10

After weeks of Arctic conditions and grueling icy weather in Tennessee, Mother Nature took pity on us modest female ruggers (probably because she knew it was International Women’s Day). Sunny. Not too cold. Not too hot. Special beer pricing at Cool Beans. Yes, dear reader, the conditions were perfect for an epic day of women’s rugby. And what a day it was!

The Stone Lions braved I-40 West bright and early on their perilous journey to Possum Park: A place they had not won a matrix game in years! Upon arrival, loud cheers were made, and cat calls were hollered for both teams.

After one of the most thorough captains’ meeting ever to take place in the history of coin-flipping, the game commenced. Stone Lions kicked off to the Minx. The ball was caught gloriously by a Knoxville rookie. But after a low hit and a swarm of Nashville packies, the Stone Lions recovered the ball. They continued to move forward, punch after punch. Upon a penalty play, a powerful crash was made by the dual forces of Sus and Rainy. But alas, en route down the Nashville back-line, the ball was eagerly stolen by the Minx. A brilliant pass to the Lady Mumps, Duchess of Knoxville, left the Stone Lions tailing behind her as she broke through and scored the first try for the Minx.

The mighty Stone Lionesses remained stoic, however. Like their animal namesake, they waited patiently watching, glaring, and taking detailed notes on how best to take down their prey. And golly, did they!

Upon showing up one lock down, rookie Eliza saved the day and provided the perfect support alongside veteran Soccer. Due to the pure amazingness of these locks plus the magnificent Front Row: Mae, Abi, Rainy and the spectacular return of Jewelia and Sus in loose positions – the Stone Lions were able to continuously rule the scrums throughout the game. In fact, it was an 8-man pick after one such powerful Stone Lion scrum that provided one of the more glorious tries. Juggernaut Sus plowed through at least two-thirds of Knoxville’s team on a weak-side pick (all told, she would run over the entire Minx side at least ten times over).

A few strong Nashville runs down the field allowed for a perfect FIRST try by none-other than prop, Mae (who shall be referred to as a-MAE-zing from here-on-out). A-MAE-zing continued her badassery as she beast-moded a second try barely 10 minutes later.

Rainy, Jewelia, and Abi were unstoppable forces. Workhorses of the match for sure! Not only did they punch, ruck, and scrum all day long but they made key plays – recovering loose balls, crashing when needed, and being examples of pure awesomeness.

It’s important to mention that both sides’ scrumhalves had one helluva match. Hailee provided precision in her passes as well as excellent speed in her ability to get the ball out (a tremendous feat mastered by few). Birthday girl Bettye Jo showed her youthfulness and agility as fly-half and made smart, strategic moves throughout the game that led to many-a-try! After she grew bored of being amazing and decided to celebrate her birthday on the side-lines, SB followed suit and mimicked BJ’s wonderful plays as fly. Earlier SB displayed her years of full-back bawlin’ ‘erybody.

Amid naming-confusion both Black Sarah and White Mary provided great support in the back-line. Black Sarah inside-centered her way through a dozen beautiful back-line plays (one even led to her scoring!) White Mary (in her epic return to matrix play) proved that she’s a speed-demon asset for any team. Knoxville still holds vigils mourning the loss of said Mary to their rivals.

Kellie and Kiwi made certain that the Minx felt the burn. Kellie illustrated her diverse mad-skills as both Outside Center (with powerful take-downs) and Fullback (with even more incredible inserts). Kiwi executed a swift try after Knoxville had been able to hold up Nashville for a while by their try-zone. The Stone Lions will hold the self-same vigils mentioned above once this New Zealander departs back to her homeland after the end of the season.

The Nashville coaches managed the team with their uplifting encouragements and strategic objectives. They utilized their three secret weapons in the second half. Returning to 15s after a year hiatus, Ediri showed her prowess and aggression upon those poor Minx. Rookie Barbara had several wonderful runs and tackles, tricking all those around her into thinking she had played for years! And Justine provided the perfect second-half take-down as flanker. Magnificent!

Even after a kick-ass try by Knoxville’s full-back extraordinaire, Ellie, the Stone Lions persevered! They refused to stop and would not give up. Instead, they kept on trying. Rookie Eliza followed up her last week’s try by gosh-darn scoring again! Soccer not only saved loose balls and retained hard-fought rucks continuously throughout the match, but she made three tough conversions! Definitely aptly named!

Final score was 31-10 with Nashville taking home the gold. That is – if gold medals were given out at True South rugby matches (which they certainly should be!). How can I start petitioning that?

Alas, your humble author must admit that even though the mighty Stone Lions arrived at the social with many-a-good-looking attire, it was a Mink falsely named Tammy that single-handedly won their social. A full Juicy Juice Box outfit out-shinned your wonderfully dressed Lionesses as well as the rest of the Minx. Malibu ‘n Coke, a Grey Goose, Christmas in Cups, a Screwdriver, Cap’n Morgan, a Bloody Mary, 4 Horsemen, Ms. Miller-Lite and an Irish Car-bomber just couldn’t compete.

I’m calling a hard-fought tie! International Women’s Day for the win. Victory for all women everywhere!!!

By Gina Durkan

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